Tuesday, November 20, 2012


I'm sort of crying now. I've been doing more crying than usual these last couple of weeks but this isn't bad crying. I'm crying because I love my friends and I love my family and I love my house and I love my fireplace and I love the Converse shoe box of knitting needles beside me and I love the Star Trek VHS I'm watching right now.

Today I turned 19. Let me start the tale of it with something I posted on tumblr last night:

"Believe it or not, I just spent the last two and a half hours watching/playing WWE. Russell came to my door when I was packing and just waved for me to follow him without saying anything. Reluctantly I grabbed my key and followed him to his dorm. It turns out he loves wrestling and had gotten a head start on our media assignment on it and figured (correctly) that I wouldn’t want to watch it. So he and Chris had me sit with them and answered my stupid questions with stupid answers and explained how there actually is a storyline in wrestling matches. Then they decided to teach me how to play the Playstation game and I was surprisingly not bad at. I played as John Cena and spent a good amount of time perching on the corner of the ropes or just lying down on the floor hoping Russell and Chris would just fight each other and forget about me.
It was a great distraction and you know what? It was surprisingly enjoyable.
Thank you, boys downstairs! <3"

Well I found out this morning that this whole thing was a ploy to get me out of the dorm so Sierra, Megan, and Kim could stash a load of decorations in Sierra's closet. She put them up  around one in the morning because I stayed with Russell and Chris for a lot longer that the ladies expected. So I woke up at 7 in the morning to find the room covered in streamers and and the floor covered in balloons and pictures on the door. The balloons were covered with pictures of Joe Bide, Harry Potter, Friends, Parks and Recreation, Doctor Who, Jack Kennedy, and a stupid Christmas picture the three girls and I took a few days ago. The pictures on the door were bananas, Barack Obama eating ice cream, and a Joe Biden birthday card collage. It was really weird and really hilarious and really, really sweet.

Sierra also woke up and left the room. She came back with Russell and a cupcake. They lit it and sang happy birthday to me and quickly waved the smoke away from the detector. I couldn't stop laughing, even when Sierra dropped her ID behind the radiator.

It was a thoroughly ridiculous start to the day, quickly followed by a super-fast breakfast with Russell, Rich, Lloyd, and Liz and a history class where we talked about elephants.

In the afternoon I went to math class for a couple minutes then left to take my laundry out of the washing machine. I wrote a birthday card for Joe Biden and I think it will be really interesting. I went to lunch with Sierra, Garth, Alyssa, Megan, Nick, and Rosalie.

And all through the day I was getting lovely birthday messages from lovely people.

Then my dad came and picked me up and we told each other stories and talked about all of the topics we knew best. We stopped at one of my favorite diners to eat and it was full almost entirely of fellow college students and their parents returning home. As we drove through my area I looked around and remembered all of these things that had happened here. I haven't been back in three months and it was so familiar and different.

I ate rice pudding with my dad and siblings and opened my birthday presents. A DVD and book on Joe Kittinger's space jump and copies of Le Petit Princein both French and English.

Then I went up to my room. I had left it in quite a messy state and had been thinking of that while I was away at school. But I walked in and my mom had cleaned it and made my bed like the nurse she was and I started to cry because it was so nice and so clean and all of these memories from my senior year, particularly the last semester, just came rushing back. There was so much. My mom had even dug up an old Road Scholar game that I lost years ago and should have returned to my coach but didn't because it was missing. And it was so familiar but somehow brighter and the bed smaller and lower and the carpet rougher and I love every bit of it. So much.

I never thought I would be so happy to be home. Nor indeed that I would be still referring to this as home. But everything around me and everything I'm doing is so familiar I could just burst. This is the best birthday I've had in at four or five years.

I love my house and my weird town and my dad's collection of space books on the shelf next to me which is still sizably larger than my own.

I don't know how to end this because I'm feeling very happy and full and melancholic. So I think I'll just say good night.

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