Monday, September 9, 2013


All right. I've got my shoes off, my blog up, and an hour before I have to think about my next class. I believe I owe you a review of my weekend.

Here is the evidence from Friday night we have to go on: "Women's rights, sickness, Australians dress poorly."

Helpful, past Heather. Real helpful.

So on Friday night I had some fun with friends and wound up falling asleep while watching Hell's Kitchen with Ryan. It was just a great, endlessly fun night. The next day I had brunch with Sierra, Megan, and Ethan and then we all went to a women's rights rally and let me tell you....

That was one of the greatest afternoons I've spent. I had been to a march for Trayvon Martin last spring but this was my first rally with speakers and singing and signs. I had so much fun. We listened to people from both on and off campus talk about health care and the glass ceiling in academia and rape culture in the military and it was all so moving and inspiring. There was even a weird old dude off to the side with a sign about how abortion is murder and weirdly that made me even happier with this rally. If people are mad at you, you must be doing something!

After that we all grabbed signs, mine said "When women's rights are under attack STAND UP FIGHT BACK," and marched down main street to the market and back again. It was hot and my voice was soar and I hadn't used my diaphragm muscle that much in ages but it felt great to shout and wave my fist and brandish my sign and grin at people as they gave us signs of agreement. I even got to help lead some of the chants! It was kind of funny because I was marching towards the front with a young woman who was supposed to be in charge of coordinating the chants she had written on a piece of loose-leaf. But there was this man with a GIGANTIC voice who would sometimes just start them on his own or tweak the words a bit and since he was the loudest people would follow. Whenever this happened the woman and I would look at each other and shrug. I feel like this is probably a metaphor.

The rest of Saturday I spent napping and studying. I was kind of dehydrated because I had left my water bottle in the Suite the night before. It was pretty low key. Then Becky, Sierra, Megan, Jesse, Steve, and I went to a party and that was pretty dull. Becky and I kind of just stood there in the massive crowd of people. At one point a culinary student just started making hot dogs. When the heat started to get to Megan we jumped at the opportunity to walk her home and go back to our dorm. Parties like that are not our thing.

Sunday was mostly spent in study. I finished "Ragged Dick" for my Gilded Age class and wound up reading ahead in biology. Then I got dinner and played board games with Ryan and Josh while everyone else in the Suite watched football. I won my first game of Monopoly ever and didn't even steal from the bank once.

Now I just got back from a lunch with friends after a wonderful Gilded Age class. I feel like I'm cheating on my history classes back in high school by having such a great time in this one. But I really, really like it so far. Even if the professor did assign an 80+ page paper that he wrote himself to be read by Thursday.

So as you can see I've been busy. It's hard blogging everyday when you have school and rallies and your friends live within walking distance. But I'm trying. And I will succeed.

Until tomorrow, friends.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

You know what?

Okay you know what you know what you know what? This is late. Again. And it will not be long. But I just got back from an unexpected night at the Suite playing board games during a football game. What we are going to do is st aside a nice chunk of time tomorrow to do a good and proper BLEDS. We'll bleed everywhere. Deal?


Saturday, September 7, 2013


Late. Just got home. So sorry. I'll discuss things after sleep. But to give you a preview: Women's rights, sickness, Australians dress poorly. To be continued.

Friday, September 6, 2013


Okay so last night wound up being a bit less boring. At dinner I got a Philly cheese steak but it was giant and I didn't finish it. As I was walking back to the dorm arm-in-arm with Megan I got a little hungry again so I bent down and took a bite of it. With Megan's face right next to mine.

Later that night I found a surgical bonnet and mask in my suitcase. So I put them on and Becky and I went across the hall to knock on Megan and Sierra's room. When Megan opened the door. I jumped out at her brandishing a pair of scissors and she fell over backwards and just lay on the floor crying. It turned out that Sierra had been threatening to cut off the strings on her shirt with a pair of scissors all day.

Also there was a hummingbird in the food place. It flew into a wall.

Today I slept through my macroeconomics class. Including the quiz that I was studying for the night before. Oh well. After French I went for a hike and skipped so many stones that my elbow hurts. That is seriously a lot of stones. At one point I found myself standing in the middle of a river listening to One Direction. Then a golden retriever burst out from the trees and jumped in the water. This is my life now. Sleeping through class and watching dogs.

I'm not sure what I'm doing tonight. I may just wander around. I may climb a tree. I may eat pizza. Who knows? I hope everyone's had a good day and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Thursday, September 5, 2013


Bloggity blog blog blog. Right now I'm sitting in Sierra and Megans room while they look at study abroad stuff and I go through my tumblr likes looking for weird inspirational quotes. We're also shouting things at the girls down the hall because we can hear their conversation.

Today I slept through my first class of the semester. Biology, I missed you. I slept and I am sorry. But I was really tired for some reason. Who knows why. I had a great time in my History of the Gilded Age class, though. And band. Yup.

God, when did I become such a boring person? I really have nothing to bleed out today. I'm sorry.

Anyway, I should be studying for a macroeconomics quiz I have tomorrow. Have an exciting life.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

This Night, This Year

Okay hello! This will be late again I'm sorry but I started writing this before midnight I swear. Again, I just got back from the Suite. That's what we'll call it from now. The Suite is a suite where many of my friends live. Or they live in suites near it. The Suite is sort of like Monica's apartment in Friends. It's like that minus the millionaire. We do not have a millionaire.

Anyway that's where I was tonight we were watching Always Sunny and the League and eating a super late dinner. Then Megan decided to clean Jesse's ear with hydrogen peroxide and Sierra left to do homework. The boys began to squabble so Megan and I followed shortly after. Ugh. Boys.

That is also where I was last night that I had such a good time. I went to a food place near the dining hall that is not the dining hall because as a second-year student I now have the option to only be made sad by it five times a week. Megan and Sierra met me a little while later and I decided I wanted some yogurt. There Ryan came up and tapped us on the shoulder. He was there with Will and Craig and Jesse appeared shortly afterward. We got our food and went up to the Suite to watch tv. It was so much fun just sitting around. There are barely any classes on Wednesday so Tuesday is a party night at my school. But not last night. The most exciting part of my night was when Megan, Sierra, Craig, Ryan, and I went to get ice cream. That sounds pathetic but it was really fun.

But the night wasn't even the best part of Tuesday. That was when I went to the forest. The only time I'd been on the trail by myself since I got back to school I just stopped at the waterfall and red for macroeconomics. But this time I went farther and discovered a new place by climbing these rocks and visited the geocache Ryan, Craig, and I found the other day and scared the hell out of a dining services guy when I emerged from the thick growth on the steep bank at the head of the trail. But what made it truly, truly unforgettable was the soundtrack my iPod blessed me with when I put it on shuffle. Here it is.

No More- Alex Day
At Least I'm Not (As Sad As I Used  To Be)- fun.
Just Love (War is Over)- The Remus Lupins
Since March, Since September, and Still- The Mudbloods
Major Minus- Coldplay
All the Pretty Girls- fun.
Mylo Xyloto- Coldplay
Bottom of the River- Delta Rae
Green Eyes- Coldplay (So perfect.)
Mom, Your Boyfriend is a Douche- Matt Maggiacomo
Up in Flames- Coldplay
The Gambler- fun.
Forever Yous- Alex Day
Melancholy Astronautic Man- Allie Moss
S.T.D. Puppet Show- Matt Maggiacomo (Weird but it somehow worked)
Politik- Coldplay
Trouble- Coldplay
Bonus Track: Reflections on a Pensieve (A Tribute to the Mudbloods)- The Sweetwater All Stars
Treacherous- Taylor Swift (Not even fair. This started playing as I passed the bank where I fell in last spring. "This slope is treacherous...")
The Lucky One- Taylor Swift
Wish I Lived in Lorelei- Harvey Dowd

And right as I was leaving the trail and was about to take my headphones out what should start playing? Why one of my favorite songs in the world by my favorite band. "This Year" by The Mountain Goats. Any other song and I would have just put my iPod away as planned. But not this. And you know what makes it even more perfect, if that's possible? Today is Rosh Hashana. The Jewish New Year. And I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me. Especially if it kills me. L'shanah Tova, everyone.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Short and late and not sorry

Shh! Hello. It's late. I'm sorry.

It's just past 1 am. I got back from a lovely ending to a lovely day only a few minutes ago. I'm already for bed. Becky is watching some late night show. I don't know which. I won't say much now. I'll write another post when I wake up. I should feel guilty and apologetic that it's only my third day on this project and already I'm late with a blog but I don't because I was having too much fun with my friends. It was low-key and right.

Anyway, if you're looking for something a little more intense for me to bleed out, I threw on a grey-ish flannel shirt when I was heading out the door tonight over my Potter Pensieve Podcast shirt. (Advertising myself amongst my peers. Woohoo!) It was the first flannel of the season and it caused much excitement.

That's all for now. Demi Lovato just came on the program Becky's watching. Good night.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Tater tots and rowdy boys

Well hey guys! Welcome to another edition of BLEDS. Here is my word blood! (That sounds a bit weird. I may have to change that.)

Today started out weird in the fact that Megan and Sierra actually woke up before. Or at least didn't stay in bed watching tv like I did. (Still on a Scrubs re-watch.) So we went to the dining hall as usual and get this, there were tater tots. Finally! I had this strange idea in my head that as soon as the dining hall served tater tots, then things would be okay. And you know what's even stranger? I think that this may have been right.

Yes things sure seem a lot sunnier than they did yesterday, despite the massive thunderstorm that made Becky and I jump and swear. Speaking of Becky, she joined Sierra and Megan and I for dinner tonight. I was so not feeling the dining hall and ate only half a bow of Cheerios and raisins. We had this huge table for just the four of us because it was the only one free when we got there and I joked that we would have to grab people to join us.

Well. We kind of did.

Sierra started waving at some friends a few tables over, but this group of rowdy freshman who were between us started waving back. We were all laughing and waving at each other when one of them asked "Do you mind if we sit with you?" To which I responded in all seriousness "Yeah of course."

So three of them joined us while the others ran off God knows where. As it happened we had met one of them, Terrence, the night before when we were with Tara. He even remembered all of our names. He, Sam, and Mike gave us one of the absolute strangest dinners I have ever had at the dining hall. And that is saying something.

They taught us slang like "turning up" and "Hollywood" and joked about one of the cooks whom they had nick-named Chef Ramsay. Then a table nearby burst into a rendition of "Happy Birthday" for a girl who lives next door to us. the boys got so into it. One of them started banging the table over and over and over again until my friends and I were forced to grab the dishes from falling over. And they just kept going. I was a little sad to leave them at the end of the meal. Hopefully we'll see them again.

When we got back to our hall I just made some coffee for Megan, Sierra, and I (Becky mostly just drinks water) and watched tv/decorated/did some reading. My mom called. Now I'm writing this. That's about this.

Now for the super vague explanation you've all been waiting for. There's this thing with a friend and I was freaking out because I thought I messed things up and so I sent him a message apologizing but he never responded and last night I stopped by his suite briefly and he didn't say anything but that wasn't very unusual but I was still freaking out a bit and then I talked about it with Megan, Sierra, and Tara while watching Food Network and then I slept and then I woke up and realized there were tater tots and that everything was gonna be okay.

So that's what's been going on. I think everything's cool now. I hope. But I'm still going to be doing BLEDS because I can't donate blood for a while and this is FUN, right?

Until tomorrow.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

BLEDS: BLog EveryDay in September

So here's the deal, kids. For the past few days I've been feeling like my life is spiraling out of control. Not too bad. You guys have seen bad. But enough. And what do we do when our lives spiral out of control? We blog! (Or at least I do.)

This is what I'm thinking. BLog EveryDay in September. BLEDS. Remember when I used to blog all the time? Regular, proper blogs? Well when I wrote those I felt like all the bad parts of my life were bleeding out of my body. Every night I bled out for people to see. And I'm doing it again.

It is the first day of the rest of my month.

It's kind of late and I'm watching Scrubs and I'm not sure how to talk about my weekend. But I've been back at school for a week and until last night/this morning everything was great. Today I slept, watched tv, studied French, went grocery shopping with Sierra and Becky (my new roommate), and fell asleep watching cooking shows with Sierra, Megan, and Tara. That's about it.

Wow. I guess I don't really remember how to blog. Hopefully it'll come back to me as the month goes on. Talk to you tomorrow.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Summer starts and finishes

As you probably guessed I'm back home by now. I have been for a few weeks, actually. The first week I spent going places and seeing friends and family but not so much after that. I sort of forgot how to make plans. And then I got a terrible sunburn that made it absolutely grueling to move. That healed a couple days ago. And now I've got a cold.

I am terrible at having colds. Break my toe, cut my leg, bite my arm, burn my finger, that's fine. I'll get through. But I absolutely hate hate hate when my throat is scratchy and my nose congested and my head light. It's just so annoying and takes so long to sleep and you can barely taste food. Without food and sleep, why bother? So I'm having a pity party inside my head and you're invited.

Since I last wrote the Office ended, I planted 29 strawberry plants, and tried unsuccessfully to teach my cousin's toddler how to say "ostrich." I can also now tell you about the bitter-sweet announcement I mentioned previously.

On New Year's Day in 2010, I started a podcast with my good friend Adam called the Potter Pensieve Podcast wherein we reread all of the Harry Potter books and analyzed them chapter by chapter. Since then the project has expanded beyond all our expectations. We befriended a website designer, Thio, gathered a team of bloggers, and added to our hosting panel. In the fall of 2010 I left my post as full-time host and since then only appeared as a guest on the show. That's changing. I'm back to my old position beside Adam, started a new series on the website where I create recipes to go along with the chapters in each episode we make, and . . . will keep going until we finish the project this summer if all goes to plan. That's right. We're on Half-Blood Prince now and are hoping to complete Deathly Hallows by September. We'll be joining the rest of the Potter podcasts hanging up their microphones this summer. It's sad, but the time has come. And in the meantime we're having a lot of fun working to make our last season one to remember.

I hope everyone's feeling better than I am on this fine June 8th. I think I'll watch Ace of Cakes. If I can't taste cake or make cake I can at least watch it being created, right?

Monday, May 13, 2013

No food is allowed in the library

No food is allowed in the library. But I am and I am hungry.

I have my French final tomorrow and I'm not sure if I'll be ready. And I still have international relations and English after that. Then I can finally leave this place. I need to return West. I have had enough of the transplanted citizens of that riotous island extending East from Manhattan. I have had enough of the wild parties and the cars of careless people and the paralyzing casualness of it all.

I may be being overdramatic. But I am very tired. And I want to go home to my kitchen where I can create everything that's been bouncing around in my head these last few months. I want to watch television on an actual tv. I want to watch British dramas with my mother. I want to play Risk with my friends and watch Tom Hanks movies. I want to go everywhere with Kate and Elana and anyone else who may be left. Mostly I want to not have to worry about the next assignment hanging over my head. And I really, really want to pass my road test.

My friends here are already making plans to see each other over the summer. Really? While I like them and will miss them, I definitely need a break. Living this kind of life gets exhausting after a while.

So those are some thoughts. They're a little weird but there they are. I'm posting them here because I logged myself out of tumblr and will not post anything until Friday when I'm out of my last exam. I'm sorry I've ben neglecting this blog. I've just been busy and I probably share way too much of my life anyway. But I've made a few youtube videos. And I have an important announcement I'll probably write about when I'm back home and it officially applies to me. It's a bittersweet one.

As far as what I've been doing these last few weeks, it's mostly been panic over money, panic over future, do some work, not do enough work, panic over not doing enough work, watch West Wing, eat, and pack. I really enjoy packing. I wish I had boxes with me so I could pack even more. Plus it gives me an excuse not to study.

I really should get back to French and I need to send my dad an e-mail so I'll talk to you all later and good luck to everyone else finishing up the semester.

Oh and here's a gratuitous picture of me in the library. I like my hair today. Also when the flash went off I heard a girl mumble "What the Hell?"


Friday, April 5, 2013

Mixing memory with desire

Hello, blog! This post is coming to you from outside Here's some proof:

It is very windy right now and that makes it chilly but the sun is out and the lawn outside of my building is covered with students like ants at a picnic going down hill. Hips are hula-hooping. Frisbees are flying. Softballs are soaring. A couple boys from the floor below me are kicking a soccer ball back and forth. People with guitars and saxophones and cymbals are criss-crossing the grass to get between the music buildings. I'm listening to a mix of The Zombies coming from Sierra's earbuds and jack-hammering from the construction project behind me. My bare toes painted a dusty blue are digging past the mulch into the soil beneath and my shoes are warming on a rock beside me. the leather jacket I took from Sierra last night is warm on my shoulders. It all feels very collegiate.

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in about a month. And that I didn't do BEDA like I meant to. Maybe I'll do "Blog More In April" instead. BMIA. I've been busy, I suppose. But more then that, I've been kind of happy. Or at least interested in life. It feel good. I feel like Things are happening. That's "Things" with a capital "T." I am enjoying the world this spring. I don't even mind that I just met the first swarm of gnats around my head this year. Hello, old friends!

Today I had a very surreal French class full of a stranger shouting the names of French vegetables at us in French while I tried to decide if I should laugh or cry. I should be posting answers for the class that was canceled this afternoon. Later tonight I'll do thing and maybe even see a people. The Zombies are singing in my ear about roses and Emily. The sky is bue. The grass is returning to green. And this world is treating me right.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Weekend documentation cont.

All right, where did I leave off? Snowball fight? Great.

The next morning I went to my French class, ready to fail, as I didn't do anymore studying after Russell left, but enough people didn't show up to class because of the snow that we convinced our professor to push back the test until Tuesday. The rest of the class was pretty uneventful but at one point someone called the professor "Sassy-Pants."

My English class was cancelled that day so I went to lunch and met up with Russell, Erik, Kevin, Jesse, and Eve. Eve and I made plans to play in the snow later. We wound up walking to town to try and find a sled. We couldn't find one in our budget so we bought a license plate that said "BOYCRAZY" for the boys to put in their suite and order dark chocolate, Irish cream concoctions at Dunkin' Donuts. We never did play in the sow but we found out we had a ton in common so it was fun anyway.

When I got back to my dorm I found my new roommate with her friend and boyfriend, almost finished moving in. I made small talk for a bit until I could make my excuses to go meet up with Eve and the boys again. After a rushed dinner, we all went to watch the Rangers game in the suite. Zack reminded me of an assignment I never did for our English class due that night and he let me use his computer to do it. About half way through the game Eve and I took off with one of her friends who owned a car to Taco Bell across the river. I had a crunchwrap supreme and cheesy fiesta potatoes and it was incredible. When we got back Sierra and Megan had joined us and we watched "Clerks II." I had never seen the first one but I loved the second. Erik took to saying "Happy Women's Day!" after every slightly awkward line. My favorite was "I got mayonnaise in my pooter." "Happy Women's Day!"

After the movie ended we wound up just sitting around joking and talking for a few hours. I argued against Zach on behalf of Anne Perkins in a debate on character necessity in Parks and Recreation. Eve remembered she still had tacos sitting in the corner. Eventually Garth wandered off to bed and we realized that no one still in the common room actually lived there. We were squatters.

Thursday and Friday were kind of busy days so I wanted to document them. Saturday I was pretty much the same as Friday night. And today, Sunday, I woke up in Kim's bed, went to breakfast, spent most of the time talking about Les Miserables, and then went on a walk in the woods. I found Craig, Garth, Ryan, and James there and walked with them until they turned back. I kept going and even got in a little rock climbing.

I realize this isn't very good writing and is probably awful to read but I kind of wanted an example of a typical weekend to keep. If you've read this and made it to the end, here's your gift.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Snow and my life

Hi, blog! It's late. Heading on to five in the morning. I got back at my dorm about an hour ago with Megan, Sierra, and Sean Charles but they are gone now and I'm all showered and tired. But I will bring us to this point after I talk a little about the last couple days. In list form because it's waaaaaaay too late for segues. Ready? Go!

1.) On Thursday afternoon a girl form down the hall came to my room. She told me she was moving in tomorrow. I accepted this.

2.) After band I went to Russell and told him that we only had one more night to enjoy the "couch" in my dorm, aka, Sierra's former bed. We liked to sit there and watch Man Vs. Food into the night.

3.) After band I went to the planetarium to advertise for Cosmic Club and help out. One of the other guys from the club, Cooper, got beat up by a three year old. It was awesome. He didn't think so.

4.) I got back to my dorm and tried to study for a French class scheduled for the next day but wound up watching 30 Rock instead until Russell came over. He brought me some ice cream he didn't eat much of (Ben & Jerry's Boston Cream Pie <3) and we talked about classes and reminisced about the couch.

5.) After professing our hope that classes would be cancelled for Friday, we started discussing the snow and I suggested a snowball fight. Russell was faster and had better aim. But I was better at packing snowballs quickly and without leaving myself vulnerable. Also sometimes I can catch them when thrown at me. Russell accidentally dunked his sneaker in a puddle pretty early on and my glasses fogged up so that eventually I could only see shadows. So we were pretty evenly matched. We ran around our building shouting. One of our hall officials came outside and stood watching us for a bit to make sure we weren't doing anything illegal. After Russell nailed me in the head for the 3rd time I shouted "Do I look like I'm in the theatre department?!" He said "no," confused. I said "Then why do I need so many headshots!?!?" At one point instead of throwing a snowball I ate it and Russell was surprised. He hadn't known that you could eat snow. So I talked to him about all the wonders of snow for a while. Then we continued our fight and I, having gotten the last hit just as Russell thought he was safe having hit me and was fleeing towards the door, won.

It's 4:55 am and I am exhausted. I will write another post continuing this tomorrow. I may get caught in a loop of writing blogs two days after the events in them happen. I hope not. Good night/morning!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


I should probably start this off by apologizing for my last post. I can't remember what it was exactly (but I do know it's bad enough not to re-read it.) I was upset. Somethings happened. I didn't like them. I lost my favorite hat. But other things happened as well In conclusion, my head is cold.

So. Now that that's out of the way....

Today? Today was pleasant. That's the best word to describe it I think. After a week of sleeping in, skipping class, eating like crap, feeling like crap, and not doing any work, I got out of bed this morning. At 9:30. Trust me. This was a big accomplishment for me. It is very hard to get out of bed at college when you live alone, haven't done the reading, and just, like, don't care that much? If there is one thing I believe is that people never want to leave their beds. Add to this the fact that I hadn't gotten to sleep before four in the morning in quite a few weeks and I say that this is downright miraculous!

But I got my ass to the dining hall to have a proper breakfast of rice chex with cinnamon and skim milk, a banana, a glass of lemon water, and 3/4th of a cinnamon raisin bagel with peanut butter. (I really only wanted a half but that was the closest I could find in the bagel box. I don't know where the other quarter is but I hope it's doing well.) I ran into some friends there and they were all so shocked to see me conscious in what can be quantified as the A.M.

I didn't eat with them though. I studied for a French quiz instead because sometimes I am a responsible student. Despite my seeming inability to figure out when to use l'imperfait tense. But no matter how bad I was feeling for not knowing that, I think it's safe to say that I have a better grasp on the French language than most people in that class. They spent an hour arguing and trying to translate six sentences of La belle et la bete (The Beauty and the Beast) into English. SIX SENTENCES. By the end, after not saying anything throughout the whole affair shouting "IT'S A VERB! YOU JUST NEED A VERB!" Then we had 15 minutes for the quiz because the two girls in the opposite corner who never. stop. talking. insisted that we take it then. Why? By the time this semester is done I am either going to have the patience of a saint or the ulcer of my friend Tori.

Women and Literature was lovely as it tends to be. I like everyone in that class, even when we disagree. Everyone's intelligent ad insightful and just a good booster of confidence in the human species after French.

The highlight of my day was my four mile walk through the woods, though. It was sunny. The sky was clear. It was less muddy than it could have been. It was just this side of chilly. The scenery was gorgeous. And it felt so good. The trail was like a combination between a glen hike and a rail trail back home and even when I thought geese were going to attack me it was an excellent time. I saw three whitetail deer and made it back to the head of the trail just in time for civilian sunset.

Now after a solitary dinner I'm writing this blog post and watching 30 Rock. Later I want to finish the book we're reading for Lit and study Europe for my map quiz in International Relations tomorrow. It feels good to be re-learning the countries of Europe. It reminds me of the early days of AP Euro with my three foot tall Atlas. Which is also a pleasant memory.

Some days are just good.

What about you? (If anyone is out there reading this.) What normal life things made your day pleasant?

Friday, January 18, 2013


I seem to have a firm belief that a bad night can be solved with a good breakfast. I don't know where this belief came from or how long I've had it but this morning I decided that it was so.

I had a bad night. I wound up replacing sleep with Cabin Pressure and How I Met Your Mother. And some hurried mouthfuls of cold macaroni and cheese in the dark kitchen at 6 AM and a small bag of mini jaw breakers in my nightstand. So around nine o'clock I decided that what I really needed was a good breakfast and set about to making one.

The kitchen was where the trouble started the night before. I had bitten off most of my nail polish the night before and my fingers were cracked and raw and stinging. My left thumb required band-aids. But I shouldered on and came up with two scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese, tea, orange juice, water, and a tortilla. I felt that bread would make me sad.

I ate this while reading This Side of Paradise and part-way through my plate my older sister had joined me in silence with a book of her own. The watery winter sun was just glancing through the window and the snow on the ground reflected some of the light back. A but of tiny snowflakes, more like ice crystals, could occasionally be seen when caught in a ray. This stirred in me my latent desire for a proper room in which to take breakfast.

Breakfast rooms remind me of spring, and silent mornings where I am alone and wake up willingly, and the works of Kate Chopin which, despite all of the pigeons and other strange happenings from my AP Lit class, I will begrudgingly admit I enjoyed. I know that if when I have a place of my own I have an honest-to-God breakfast room, I will be doing all right by my adolescent self.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Today was very nice. I woke up at 1330 and didn't get downstairs until 1530. Then I ate a bunch of cookies with my mom, Billy, and Sarah. I read the Fellowship of the Rings and ate beef barley soup with my mom, Billy, and Linda. Then Elana came and we went to trivia night.

Wednesday is trivia night. I had been hearing tales of it from my friends for over two years now. But I had never gone. An invitation was never extended to me until I was in Aaron's kitchen last night and Will asked if I wanted to come. I did. Elana and I discussed dwarves and weird Korean shows on the ride over to the bar and grill. We parked across the street and leaped majestically through mounds of snow to leave the parking lot. There we found Mary, Colleen, Brad, Tori, Josh, and Jenny Sue already in a booth with drinks and answer sheets. Elana and I ordered lemonades and brownie sundaes and joined them. We caught up on each other's lives and talked about One Direction and Jenny Sue was shouting at a tv where her beloved Florida Gators were playing. A few questions in Will showed up and we squeezed a chair onto the end of our booth.

It was a 2012 year in review night and the questions were all about things that had happened in the past year. Tori impressed us all by knowing all three winners of the Voice though none of us were that surprised. Brad knew that the inventor of the barcode had died. We were mostly useless about sports except for Jenny Sue who got a name right here and there. I wasn't even ashamed that I knew that Burning Man was answer to one of the later questions. I started to laugh, grabbed the pencil from Tori's hand, and scribbled it down. For the half-way wager question the DJ told us that the category was "human accomplishments." I knew right away that it would be about Felix Baumgartners jump. There was a lot of confusion and the answer we gave didn't quite match up with the answer the DJ had but Will and I believed the DJ to be mistaken. I'm not sure how that worked out.

This particular DJ plays song clues to go along with all of the questions. Sometimes they're really far-fetched. Last spring at the competition that gave birth to this blogpost he played "Crazy In Love" when the answer was Jim Lovell. This leads us to one of my favorite moments from tonight. The DJ asked us what state was the first to legalize the possession of marijuana and played the Olympic March. Upon hearing the first few measures I shouted "O, Canada!" but Will told me point-blank that that was not the song. Then Mary and I simultaneously had a thought. Olympics = Olympia which is in Washington. I explained how I knew this by saying excitedly "I know this from Twilight!" To which Mary replied "I know this from the third grade geography bee."

Overall we did okay. But I had a lot of fun and would love to go back. Will, Elana, Jenny Sue, Tori and I were the only ones to stay to the end and we had an awkward group hug while blocking the door to the restaurant. Then Elana, Will, and I fell through the snow to where we were parked and I shouted "Shoe in my boot! Shoe in my boot!" but I meant that there was snow in it. Then Elana came back to my house and we watched Drake and Josh on Netflix, looked at pictures of child stars who grew up hot, read off lists of old Nickelodeon shows and laughed at the names. Then Elana introduced me to Danny Phantom and I completely fell in love. None of it made sense, it was so funny, and absolutely wonderful.

Now Elana has left and I am wearing new pajama pants and lounging in my bed typing this. It was a great 2nd day to the new year. I think I'll read some more of Fellowship before going to sleep. Good night!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

How do you measure a year?

Hello! Sorry. I've been busy. Sleeping. Hiding from people. You know.

But it is January now. More specifically it is the 2nd of January in the year 2013. So far it's been pretty good. I spent New Year's Eve at Jenn's house with some friends (Hannah, Regina, Faaria, and Tori.) We played Apples to Apples and Quelf and ate food and talked and made bad jokes about the fiscal cliff and wore stupid hats and blew noise blowers and watched Pixar shorts and made fun of Kathy Griffith and tried to get Frank Sinatra songs to line up with Pit Bull's performance. It was the first New Year's I spent not with my family in the house or at a church party and it was a lot of fun. I give it a 9.

Then the next morning I woke up at 1430 and made a video of photos from 2012. Originally it was just going to be cell phone pictures but I accidentally deleted a bunch of them so I added more from my camera and from friends on facebook. I couldn't really get the song to line up right with the photos that I had but I'm pretty pleased with it regardless and that's what matters. I used "Lovely Lily" by The Remus Lupins which I listened to a lot walking to and from school in the spring and I think that it really fits how I want to remember this year. I don't want to focus on the shitty and depressed November or the stressed December or the October and September that now feels like a betrayal or the stationary July-August period.

I want to remember the trip to see my cousin Nick's children for the first time in January. I want to remember the trip to Albany with my AP gov class and the snowball fight second period the next day when we all still had tons of work due that day. I want to remember the wintery mix of poutine, Sherlock Holmes, and Nicolas Cage. I want to remember the emotional overload that was Science Olympiad in February and March and the fun we had against my better judgement with the squirrels at Niagara Falls. I want to remember the Hunger Games and how much prom preparations felt like competing in them. I want to remember Grease and the library and the Fallout shelter with Brooke and going to the creek with Allison. I want to remember the space history filled ice cream factory and meeting Dan Bursch with my dad and all those bright spring afternoons that I spent reading about manned space exploration on my deck after walking home early and doing some push-ups and sit-ups. Sun's out, gun's out! I want to remember the pair of pants I found in the bathroom during a five hour bio review session and Tori, Molly, and I sneaking around the school and leaving coffee for each other. I want to remember eating bagels on the bench by the flagpole with Kelly and just enjoying the flowers. I want to remember my last band concerts and Friendly's after them and riding and singing in Aaron's car with Peter and Will and Linda and her not being able to find the seat belt and Will and I teaching history for a day. I want to remember going to the prom with Aubrey and Manon and Axel and all of the teacher chaperons walking in to eat at the restaurant we were at. I want to remember the video I made for my senior class of our last month together. I want to remember the music picnic and finally making pretzels with Deanna and our senior trip with the lake cruise running out of French toast and so many near-deaths at the amusement park and everyone shoving their belongings into Tyler's backpack and trying to chain together on the Lazy River. I want to remember how we made noise whenever our principal tried to speak at graduation and our multiple standing ovations whenever the library or our librarian was even referred to. I want to remember party-hopping and Brianna pulling over to climb onto the hood of her car to clean the windshield and melting glowsticks over the bonfire at E.J.'s and dripping the glowing substance onto our skin. I want to remember the strange Fairy Festival with Elana and Kate and the trolls and bringing Kara back with me after orientation and being incredibly strange for 72 hours. I want to remember going to playgrounds with Kate, Elana, Dan, Chris, and Colin in August after realizing how little we had done with each other that summer. I want to remember Aaron's lakehouse and the "last-hurrah" drama club bowling expedition where we realized none of us liked bowling and we wound up at bubble tea and a playground after dark. And I want to remember the Richard Simmons workout with Lloyd and the Fancy Party with Sierra and the Harry Potter Exhibition with Kara and Alex and BeanCon and sitting in the grass with Derek and Chris and Russell getting me into wrestling and my Joe Biden birthday party and laughing in church with my sisters and Dianna and Hope and Madeline and going to Chipotle and seeing The Hobbit with my family

That's what I want to remember from this past year.

As far as 2013 goes I think it'll be really fucking weird. But so far I've loved it. I read The Fellowship of the Rings by the fire and ate soup with my parents and brother and then my sisters came home from a friends house with a huge plate of delicious cookies and we all had a good time just hanging out. Then I went to Aaron's house for "Hanksapalooza." We really like Tom Hanks movies. Aaron, E.J., Brooke and I hung out with Aaron's dad for a while and it was as good a time as it always is with those people. Then Tori arrived and we watched "A League of Their Own." Will came in just in time for the credits. I really, really liked that one. Then we watched "Philadelphia" and it was really sad but fun because Tori is going to be a lawyer and I know about not being straight. Brooke and E.J. left because they both had to go to the dentist in the morning and we watched the Swarley episode of How I Met Your Mother. Then Tori departed and it was just Will, Aaron, and I wandering around the kitchen. Aaron kept giving me citrus fruit and I kept loving him for it. Will and I decided that we were actually going to do something together when we both went back to school and my dad texted me that he was outside while I was in Aaron's arms and he was carrying me around and I was begging for Will to help me.

It was probably the best January 1st I've ever had. They say that the first day of a new year is supposed to be an indication of how the rest of the year will go for you. If that is the case, then I will be very, very grateful, lucky, and happy.