Thursday, December 27, 2012

The deadest of days spent at the mall

Hello yes I'm sorry I haven't written anything for 17 days (apologizing to future me, of course. Hi there) but I just wanted to document my day a bit. It's 27th December, 2012 and it is the middle, the deadest, of the Dead Days. And, as you know, things tend to go a bit weird then.

Today I woke up after less than four hours of sleep and a night of watching Miranda to go to the dentist. Then I came back, watched the rest of the show, and went to the mall with my mom and sisters. While in J.C. Penny's I was a bit bored a bit flustered, a bit overwhelmed, and a bit confused. So I kind of started to follow this older gentleman around. I matched his pace exactly, stride and all. After a while of this he noticed and, to avoid confrontation, I moved forward a bit so I was slightly ahead of him. And that was when he started to follow me! So I started to lead us in the direction of the lingerie section in the hopes that he would be too embarrassed and I would be able to shake him off. No such luck. He followed me right in. And that's how I wound up luring an old man into the bra displays at J.C. Penny.

But it gets better. Because I found my sisters amongst the bras. His wife wandered over just as we reached them and they walked away. So I figured it was safe to leave the lingerie. It was. Almost. When I emerged into the pajamas I came face-to-face with a young family who said hello to me. Very familiarly. Like they knew me. I did not know them. So I was already looking a little flustered and amused from my stalking activities earlier and now I looked confused as well and I sort of made a noise at the back of my throat and walked quickly away. I think I scared the toddler.

Then we continued out to the rest of the mall and were immediately surrounded by a job fair. There I found my soldier friend recruiting. I hadn't seen him in wow just about two years I think. So it was good to see him. And it's always lovely to hug a man in uniform. We chatted for a while and then I went off to Bath and Bodyworks where I danced for a while behind a sale display and the employees backs, right in view of people walking by. That was great fun. Then I may or may not have broken/spilled a bottle of perfume. I really can't say.

My family and I bought A LOT of things so we should be smelling excellent. (Thanks for the bodywash, Mom!) We walked back through the mall where again I saw my soldier friend who gave me a landyard. See? The perks of having friends in uniform. Free landyards! Then I shimmied across the display case of FYE, getting some curious glances from the mothers and children in the play space just outside, and left the mall utterly satisfied. I didn't actually buy anything. My mom exchanged two shirts my parents got me which didn't fit and I didn't really see anything that caught my eye so I may just save the money for a bus ticket. Who knows? I certainly don't. So it was actually a net gain of one landyard.

I have to keep myself amused, if only for my sake.

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